Found a newborn. I was outside carefully cultivating my weed garden when I heard a cry. I don’t think he was trying to hurt it, but my dog had that poor baby almost entirely in his mouth. I told him to “drop it” and he tossed that little baby up in the air before dropping it. It screamed so loudly and my heart plummeted. Terrified that he hurt it. I carefully picked up this tiny baby and she was still breathing, but cold and wet. I took her inside to warm her up and figure out what to do next.
So, I looked up “How to care for a newborn mouse”. Surprisingly little information out there. But the important things are to keep them warm and fed. By this time my husband is helping me. He found her a little box, dried her off and put her in it with some washcloths and turned our tiny electric heater on full blast to try to warm her up. Apparently, soy baby formula can be used to feed them, but I was fresh out. One website says concentrated milk can also be used. I have a can of evaporated milk – same thing right? So, we feed her with a teeny syringe and she eats. Next thing, “After the newborn eats the mother will stimulate a bowel movement by licking the anus”. Hold the bus!! No way in heck am I doing that. Sorry little baby. I’ll rub the tummy with my gloved finger and maybe that will work. She didn’t poop, but I think she went to sleep. Hard to tell since she’s too little to have her eyes open. We leave the room to tend to some other matters. I continue reading. “Even if you do all these things perfectly the chances of the newborn mouse surviving are very low”. What!? I run back into the room. Poor little mousy is not breathing. Then we had a mousy funeral.
Threatened by a teenager: Induction of labor. This is a first time mom and we were, of course, hoping for a vaginal delivery. Cervical ripening with misoprostol was unremarkable. Finally got her to a favorable cervix and started pitocin. Baby did not like this at all. She made it to 6 cm then stopped dilating. I called the OB for a C section. I was counseling the patient on the need for a CS and that this was the safest thing for her and her baby. She was not excited, but understood and was willing to proceed. Her boyfriend, however, completely flipped out! He was very agitated, called us a “bunch of little bitches” then threatened the nurse and me and threw a bottle across the room. Dude, it’s 2am, I’m trying to keep your baby and your girlfriend safe and healthy. I am not putting up with your attitude. Naturally, we kicked him out, called security and told him there was no way he was coming in the OR to see his baby born after threatening our safety and throwing things. Hope he thinks it was worth it.
Mansplained: Enter the room for an establish care visit. Introduce myself and confirm his name. He says, “You’re the doctor?” and looks really confused. I learned a few things in med school like – acknowledge the emotion. So, I say, “You seem confused? Am I not the doctor you were expecting to see?”. He says, “I thought you were supposed to be a man?” to which I responded, “I don’t know what I was supposed to be, but I assure you I’m a woman.” He goes on to explain how it’s OK that I’m a woman and he doesn’t mind seeing a woman doctor, he thinks it’s cool that women can be doctors just like men. This went on an excessive period of time until I thought – this is ridiculous. It’s 2018. The first physician that happened to be a woman that we have record of is Merit Ptah. The chief physician to an Egyptian pharoah in 2700 B.C. In the last 4000 years I think we have established that women can be doctors. I don’t need you to tell me that it’s “OK”. And frankly, I don’t care if you DON’T think it’s OK. Finally, I said, “Sir, today I’m just your doctor regardless of my gender. Let’s start talking about your medical issues”.
I’m actually fairly tired of people commenting on my appearance or gender first thing when I enter the room. Just a sampling from the last few months:
– You look like you’re just out of high school.
– Are you sure you’re old enough to be a doctor?
– Your face doesn’t look nearly as fat as it did in the paper.
– I’ll come back to see YOU good-lookin’ (with a creepy wink)
– If my other doctor looked anything like you my diabetes would be under better control because I would’ve been here all the time.
– I’ve never had a woman doctor. I think it’s distracting.
– You don’t look like you’ve even pumped your own gas.
In my head I have some great responses all dripping with sarcasm, but I hold back. Because I am a professional. I worked my butt off to get where I am and we’re really here to talk about medical issues and not the circumference of my face.
The last flight I went on had a female, African-American pilot. I saw her walk by and thought, “Dang, she looks wide awake at 4 am”. I overheard three men comment on how the pilot was a woman. One went so far as to tell her that he thought it was so cool to have a black, woman pilot. I don’t really understand how this is still a topic. Women are pilots, doctors, scientists, politicians, CEOs of major companies. Nobody sees a man working at these jobs and comments how cool it is that a man can have that job. Maybe when people stop saying things like “female doctor” and “female pilot” and commenting on their appearance instead of their accomplishments we can move on and start talking about more important things than gender and outward appearance.
Highlight of the Whole Week:
Solo: 91 year-old lady came to establish care. Sang an entire Broadway song to me in her beautiful soprano. A private solo just for me.